Monday, June 29, 2015

When The Only Words You Have Are Tears

I had a different post for this Monday. Honestly it was just all too happy.

I’ve been thinking –again– about quitting this writing thing. After all, there are so many voices out there. And writing is about having words and a voice and telling something that might make a difference.

But I haven’t got too many words for the week that just was.

For that matter, try as I may, I don’t have words for today either. There's no nice, tidy way to say what's on my heart.

It’s been a hard week.

It's been a week of tears.

I don't want any sympathy from you, even though it's nice and all. But my heart is hurting for things much bigger than me.

There have been tears over a woman who fights the darkness of depression and some others who just cannot seem to break the cycle of bondage that has plagued them for so long and stolen everything but their souls.

Tears over the news and social media posts and news feed feuds.

Tears over people who abuse and neglect children and animals and 10,000 other injustices that I cannot change which quite frankly just stink and if I were honest it makes me mad.

There were some tears over new life. Thank goodness for that beautiful baby girl.

I've shed big tears for the young mom who will leave a little boy without a mommy if she doesn’t get a miracle. Would you pray for her and the boy?

I was just undone when I saw the weight of ministry on the face of one man who has been a Pastor for decades. The cost of loving people has been hard on his soul.

And the ugly cry. Lots of that. Over and over for one beautiful little girl who is losing her short battle with cancer. It is unthinkable pain for those who love her.

One minute I’m overcome with the weight of the universe –well at least my small view of it.

And I can't even think about what kind of world we are handing to our children and grandchildren in the years ahead.

I see dividing lines being drawn up by church people and every other kind of people and just how the enemy crafts division.  Everywhere. Yes, that makes me cry too.

And last night when a man called, wanting words of help, I told him how I hoped these tears were prayers, because that's all I've got right now.

Then I opened my Bible, which has gathered a thin layer of dust and I'm reminded again what is real and what is forever.

To my surprise, when we sob and blubber and howl and wail...  it means something.

Tears are a great equalizer of people. It levels the ground at which we can see each other’s souls and where we can reach the end of ourselves and our ability to fix anything.

Tears are a universal language that God not only hears, but He makes a note of in His book.

He gathers those tears into His bottle.

What I love most about that picture is how all the tears seem to be in His bottle.

As in singular.

All intermingled and tossed together. The tears of every tribe and every nation gathered into His bottle and recorded in His book.

I don't know how that works but He says that He is keeping track and taking notes.

That is a beautiful hope.

And the best news of all?

In the end God will wipe away every tear.

"and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; 
and there will no longer be any death; 
there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; 
the first things have passed away." 


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© Rhonda Quaney