Monday, August 20, 2012

Final Installment "My Story"

Life was no longer just survival mode.
In some ways, I had submitted to the losses.

Five years of eternity had passed.
That's when this man came along and I physically felt my heart wake up.

His tenderness softened my soul to risk loving again.
We went to see Big Bird and shopped for girls clothing ....on our second date. 

He knew the very day and time that he trusted in Jesus as his Savior.
We took the girls on our honeymoon.
He loved them as his own.

Our youngest was born. We moved to a place with 180 acres. 
There were cattle, horses and home school.
The days flowed into years.
My walk with the Lord was not exactly flourishing.

Mostly I was busy building my own kingdom  “ Jesus name."

Under the strain of having an emotionally fractured mom,
  life came to a crossroads with my daughters.

They had been the hope that got me out of bed in the morning.
These beautiful girls had been my reason to live.

In them I found my identity and my purpose.
Through them I had reached beyond the dark veil. 

In reality, I had made blond haired idols.

Humans are inadequate saviors.

How could they understand the scars I bore? ––Besides they had their own stuff to settle with God. 
There was the Christmas we didn't even know where one was. A Christmas I spent alone.

Every parent dreads a season like that.

Under stress I clean. As I clean I wrestle with the Lord.

In one junk drawer I found the rock. That red rock from the dark day.

Out loud I heard my own voice say, 

“ I need a rock to remind me of that day....
     - - I have two living stones to do that!”

It made me so mad I got up to throw the rock outside.
Then I felt like something told me to turn it over.
This smooth rock that had the perfect place for your thumb to rest.
As I rolled the small stone over I saw it for the first time.

A heart.


A very pronounced heart shape.
It stopped me cold.
Surely my memory was playing tricks with me.

Nearly twenty years I'd had this rock
and never noticed it has a VERY pronounced HEART on it.

I was undone by this message from a time long past.

I had to sit down.

It was a message from that day.

My day of desolation.

The day I had cried out   "... for a sign...if He was real..."

The heart was evidence that He DID hear me.
That in my darkest moment He was THERE.

This personal God that had walked with me all these days.

Now I clutched this message that bears witness that He had gone before me.
Fully realizing He had pushed back the waters that threatened to destroy me, 
even though I could not see His footprints on that rivers edge.

He had carried me, pursued me, proven His love for me.

He has come to set this captive free.

Oh yes, that day I had a heart of stone. 

“I will remove from you your
heart of stone
and give you a
heart of flesh.”

Ezekiel 36:26 

Now I have a heart that is His.
For I have believed in the One.
Jesus Christ.

His grace astounds me.

This is my Jesus story.

I hope you have one too! 

Sweet friend if you haven't settled the issue of where you stand with Jesus,
may today be the day.
Get down on your knees and lift your soul toward heaven.
Speak words in faith that you want to receive His free gift of salvation.
Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord.
Today is the day of your salvation!

I'd love to hear from you!


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Renae said...

I love hearing from you!!!God inspired, God blessed.

Rhonda said...

Thank you Renae! xoxx

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