Sunday, April 28, 2013

Real Life and Friends

I was prepared for one. I was prepared for fifty.

Two came.

Opening my home is a vulnerable place.

There is dog hair, laundry hidden, dust not so hidden and as of Saturday morning a leak in the main bathroom which had resulted in a section of the ceiling falling in the downstairs bathroom.


Much was going on and reasons to not attend were in great abundance. Honestly I just wanted to be available to be a blessing. So numbers were never suppose to be the issue anyway.

Amanda and I planned it. One other friend came.

The stories women shared in the simulcast stirred something deep. Conversation flowed easy. The fresh fruit sugar cookie pizzas were the best ever.  

The theme of staying in relationships was so good. Too many times it was easier to walk away and pretend it doesn't matter in friendships.

When the house was quiet and the guests had driven off to their real lives, it fell heavy on me.

This thing with numbers. 

Lisa Jo said it: "Small is the new big."

And I am content to do what ever the Lord has.

I felt it too after attending a conference of talented writers. On one hand the time infused me with new hope and big dreams, as well as life into my soul. 

On the other hand, deep insecurities set in. 

The question of, "Why am I even writing when there are 160 million blogs out there and more every day... what more could possibly need said?"

But this came to mind. That Jesus speaks of leaving the 99 to go look for the one. 

This is what I know:

  • My heart is for women.
  • God has redeemed much in my life so I must write about it.
  • I will cultivate the soil where I am. Invest in the people God opens the doors for me to reach. 

I'm grateful for online friends, real-life face-to face friends and today especially thankful for the two beautiful women who shared their hearts and time with me.

Small is my new big. 

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